Slapstick
by TheOneAndOnly1993
Summary: Just when Pepper thought she had run out of material, a viewing of 'The Three Stooges' gives her a horrible idea: Slapstick. She decides to test her new shtick on Zoe, and things go from bad to worse when Pepper starts taking the 'jokes' a little too far.


**'Slapstick'**

_"Pepper here is my good friend..."_

* * *

It was a dark and stormy afternoon. The kind that would appropriately define events that would soon come to pass. It was a quiet day in the 'Littlest Pet Shop', as only two campers were present: Zoe Trent and Pepper Clarke. The others were absent for reasons that are completely unknown. But it was a thought that lingered on no one's mind, as it seemed there was always at least one pet out on a day like this.

As for the shop's caretakers, Blythe Baxter was at school whereas old Mrs. Twombly embarked on one of her routine power naps. Ironically, the old timer seemed to have not set her alarm clock, as she's been sleeping for well over an hour.

The stage was set for Pepper. This was the perfect -_perfect- _opportunity to try out her new shtick. From across the room with a modest smile, she eyed the sleeping canine curled up in her rose-colored dog bed. She normally slept through stormy afternoons, as she was both a heavy sleeper and afraid of thunder, it seemed appropriate.

Even when sleeping, Zoe Trent looked simply gorgeous. While it's a common fact that Penny Ling is the cutest among the day camp's regulars, Zoe was always regarded as the prettiest; from her gracefully pressed hair to her radiantly violet coat that was groomed at least twice a day. The beret that sat atop her head and the gold diamond-encrusted collar latched around her neck only complemented Zoe's already stellar looks. Looks aren't everything, of course, and Zoe Trent has proven time and again that she, while at times can be a drama queen, is a lively member of this tight-knit group. Whether it's helping (or hindering) Russell's efforts at maintaining order, giving Penny Ling a shoulder to cry on, or just being a good friend, Zoe has inadvertently proven she can be as kind as she is competitive. She's like the mother of the group. Not to mention, she's a great singer and fashion model to boot.

She's everything Pepper never _was_ or ever _wanted_ to be. Despite being from two completely different worlds, the duo has maintained a strong friendship since they were the mischievous pairing of a kit and puppy.

Pepper would've injected herself with a hit of nostalgia had it not been for a crash of lightening from outside. The skunk, to say the least, hated lightening. It made her nervous, and therefore, smell. Well, she would had it not been for the removal of her scent glands just last week. Since then, she's been feeling a bit _on edge._

Swallowing her discomfort, Pepper skittered towards the sleeping canine. She carefully, silently, leaned towards the dog's one exposed ear until she was practically breathing on it. Then, with a deep breath, Pepper yelled, "Hey! Zoe! Zo-Zo! Wake _UP!_" _  
_

To put it gently, Zoe nearly had a heart-attack. With a yelp, she made a small leap into the air and landed on the furthest side of the bed, away from Pepper; those icy-blue eyes glistened with inadvertent fear. "Wh-What do you _want, _Pepper?!"

_"Well..." _The skunk began with a cheeky eye-roll, "Y'see Zo, I've been working on this new comedy shtick and I wanted _you _to be my first victim-_I mean, _volunteer."

Zoe chuckled at her friend's brazen sense of humor, then promptly replaced it with a frown. "I'm truly sorry, Pep. But as you know, a dog _must _get her beauty sleep." The pup ruffled her silkily-combed ears with a pompous smile. "You do understand, don't you?"

The young skunk persisted, "C'mon, Zoe! Just let me try out my shtick and I'll let you get back to sleep. Deal?"

Zoe gave an obnoxiously dramatic sigh. "I suppose so," she grimaced, then glanced around her comfortable surroundings. "Do I _have _to get up for this?" She spoke as if it was the worst thing that could possibly happen.

Pepper shook her head, "Nope! In fact, it's better if you sit down."

Zoe remained as it were and shot her companion a friendly wink. "Well, Pep, I'm all ears."

The skunk cracked her fingers and neck. "O-kay! Here we go!" She took a deep breath; her curvaceous chest rose in unison. "Alright, Zoe. Knock-knock..."

The violet canine's expression deadpanned. "Really, Pep? A knock-knock joke?"

"C'mon! Just play along!" she whined, like a child.

Zoe sighed, "_Fine. _Who's there?"

"Hammer!"

"Hammer who?"

"Hammer you!"

Before Zoe could object, her vision was suddenly filled with the blunt end of a mallet. She was out like a light.

* * *

Zoe Trent awakened with a groan. "Ugh... what happened?" She asked, still in a dazed state of mind. The singer attempted to move her legs, but soon discovered that she couldn't. No, she wasn't paralyzed; the cold sensation of leather around her wrists and ankles gave her goosebumps.

"Pepper?" She called into the darkness. "Pepper Clarke?!" Fear grew, and it wasn't due to the timely crash of thunder followed by flash of lightening.

The burst of light did, in fact, give Zoe a look inside the pet shop; the play area, to be specific. Everything was still. Silent. Too quiet. Where's Pepper? And with that in mind, why was Zoe stuck to the wall? And did Pepper really knock her out with a squeaky mallet? The thick pain pulsating in her forehead clarified that.

"Zoe! You're up!" Pepper's voice came from the darkness. "So what'd ya think?" Her light footsteps came closer and closer. "Cuz, heh, _I_ thought it was pretty funny, if I do say so myself." Zoe could make out her friend's curvilinear silhouette advancing ever so near. "But that was just the first act, Zoe Trent. And you know what they say:" Pepper Clarke came into view with a bag of comedy props in one hand and the other held Mrs. Twombly's letter opener. Her crazed rosy eyes spoke volumes about the maniacal smirk pasted across her lips. "The show must go on."

Though Zoe was appalled with her friend's actions, let alone her appearance, she instantly gravitated to what the skunk was wearing on top of her head. "Pepper! Give me my beret!"

Pepper threw her head back in a gout of hearty laughter. "Naw, I think I'll keep it. It looks good on me, doncha think?"

The small dog struggled against her bonds, "And what on _earth _do you think you're doing?! Get me out of here!"

Leaning toward Zoe, resting a paw on her furry chest, Pepper whispered a single bone-chilling word: _"Slap-stick." _

_"What?" _Zoe hissed. The question brought forth only sharp pain in the form of a whipping across her face. Reeling back from the unexpected assault, Zoe looked at her friend with watery eyes and a brighter pink cheek, shocked beyond the ability to speak.

Pepper smiled, holding up a twig in her hand. "Slap-stick," she echoed on the verge of laughing. "Get it? Slap? Stick? I slapped you with a stick?"

Zoe didn't laugh. She didn't even smile. She could only whimper, "That wasn't very funny..."

"It's the new _shtick _I'm trying out." Pepper dropped her weapon and began pacing. "Visual gags, sound gags, knock-knock jokes, insult comedy. I've done 'em all. And _just _when I think I've run out of material? BAM, it hit me: Slap-stick. I got the idea when I saw Mrs. Twombly watching 'The Three Stooges' on her little t.v. box. _I_ thought it was hilarious!"

Zoe felt perspiration dripping from her brow. "P-P-Pepper... y-you're starting to worry me." Her body quaked with fear. This only seemed to make Pepper all the more eager. "I mean, slapstick is all well and good but... but don't you need an audience?"

Pepper clapped her hands together. "Congratulations, Zoe. You're smarter than you look. Heh, how funny is that?"

The singer frowned, though fear still maintained control over her tone. "Th-That's not very nice... Please Pep, we're friends..."

Ignoring her, the young skunk hopped away and quickly returned, pushing something that was tall but obscured by a cloth into the pale light. "Funny thing is, Zoe, I _do _have an audience." She grabbed the cloth and yanked it off, revealing the object to be a video camera. "The whole world will be watching."

Zoe felt her heart sink. _This can't be happening. Pepper's lost it and she's going to hurt me! _

Pepper took notice in Zoe's discomfort and decided to provide some consolation: "Aw, come on," she began, sympathetically. "I thought you always wanted to be on camera!"

"_Not like this,_" she whispered.

The skunk leaned in toward Zoe, out of the camera's earshot. "A, uh, word of advice? Zoe? Don't piss yourself. I'd hate to see you humiliated on camera."

"Um... now that you mention it..." A blush lit up Zoe's face.

"Too bad, we're starting now!" Pepper reached into her bag and pulled out a specially crafted bow and arrow designed for her to use. "First, we're starting off with something easy." She fastened an arrow on the bow and pulled the string back.

"No wait! Don't!" objected Zoe, with a shriek.

**To Be Continued**


End file.
